Are you someone who constantly encourages others to follow their dreams yet you fail to follow the same advice you offer someone else?
I am guilty of this. So guilty. Even now. I have friends who offer me the same advice that I’ve given them and I think why don’t I believe in myself like they do? What am I so afraid of? I’m afraid of failing. Deep down I know I want it badly enough yet I’m so scared I’m going to stuff it up. That’s life and we all learn from our failures. Some even say I hope you fail because it will help you grow. But I’m scared.
I’m 31 now and I have been “launching” my beauty career since my early 20’s. Beauty has always been my passion and it’s something I feel called to do. It’s not about injectables, the picture perfect photo, or the stereotypical social media ‘influencer’ look for me. There is nothing wrong with any of those things but I’m that girl that believes beauty is truly on the inside. I love making someone feel beautiful. I love making someone feel more confident. I’m a great listener and I have had the most incredible conversations with my clients (who up until now have been few and far between). I was really touched one day when my beautiful client cried as she expressed just how different I had made her feel and how she hasn’t felt comfortable to go to anyone else – it was such a huge step for her. At first I didn’t realise she was so emotional, to me everyone is beautiful. I don’t care what size you are, what colour your skin is, how many stretch marks you have (I’ve got plenty of those!) But for some people it takes a lot of courage for them to feel comfortable with someone else. When I spray tan people I’m not looking at their bodies and criticizing, I’m looking to make sure I haven’t missed any spots. The last thing I want is for them to be streaky or patchy but I get it. I have always struggled with my body. The last thing I want to do is get naked in front of a stranger but I think at some point we have to see that what other people think of us is none of our business and believe that we are all beautiful in our own unique way. I feel like I have some light to shed on this industry and I know I need to take that leap.
When I was younger I always went to the beautician with my mum and I still remember the times when I would secretly ask her if I could get a manicure and she said ‘YES’! Never did I think it would be something I would envision for my own career. That being said I have worked for some not so wonderful employers in this industry which lead me back to the safe comfortable world of admin. They have made me feel worthless, bullied me, belittled me and made me doubt my dream.
I realise now this was all part of my journey. I’ve made plenty of excuses over the years and put off following my heart. I always make sure that I put my family and their needs first and then if I have some time and energy for me I’ll squeeze it in but I don’t make what I want a priority. Lately I’ve felt like I need to change my career and I keep searching for jobs in the beauty industry and I found one that I thought would be perfect for me but they are looking for someone with extensive experience. It’s been almost a week since I applied and I sat there thinking to myself today, why do I feel the need to work for someone else… why can’t I take a chance on myself?
This reminds me of the quote “What if I fall? Oh but my darling, what if you fly?” – Erin Hanson
I’m making a promise to myself to believe in myself, to make a small effort each week to follow my dream and no matter how big or how small that step is, it won’t matter. But if I fall, I’m going to pick myself back up, I’m going to grow from it and I hope this inspires you to do the same. Our egos can be powerful and the negative self talk can often win us over but we will still feel unfulfilled if we sit with the ‘what if’s’. Life is too short, I think we owe it to ourself to be who we came here to be and if you trust your instincts and push through the fear I have no doubt you’ll fly.