I thought this was going to be my big break, this blessing had just magically fallen into my lap and I was so hopeful.
…and then it was over before it had even begun.
I’ve been asking my spirit guides for some guidance for some time, scared to take the leap on my own and needing someone to mentor me in the beauty field to help boost my confidence to put myself out there. They sent me one last year, and she has been nothing but pure kindness to me.
A fellow beauty therapist but with experience in a product I haven’t used for very long. Her knowledge and experience is something I truly valued. I’m very open and generous with what I know, where I’ve sourced things and how I came to be. You ask it, I’ll tell you. She is exactly the same. It is so refreshing. There is nothing for me to gain by hiding information from someone else. I’ve always been of the opinion that there is plenty out there for all of us and ‘sabotaging’ someone else by withholding information or pretending I don’t know is not in my nature. Naturally I want everyone to succeed and I do believe in karma. I believe what we put out into the world we will get back tenfold. The world needs more love, more kindness and more compassion.
I was so incredibly nervous to do her lashes the first time I met her. There is this unspoken pressure when you’re working your magic on someone who can perform the exact same treatment as you do. I purposely didn’t ask too many questions when she booked in with me. The more I knew about her, the worse my anxiety would be. But, after she left that day (incredibly happy with the result and with the product I used) I knew she had walked into my life for a reason. She had been sent to me.
Out of the blue I received a phone call from her the other week. She had text me to see if I would be willing to take on her clients because she had found a full time job at a salon and was in the process of selling her home. I hesitated for a minute but I thought yes, this is just what I need. We spoke on the phone and discussed the idea of me purchasing her products as she uses another gel nail polish range from the same company I source mine from. She offered to spend time with me to teach me the process of application and a few other tips and tricks and I was so grateful – of course I said YES! I was overwhelmingly excited for my beauty future. Finally, I would be able to leave my corporate job and pursue my dream.
I spent a few hours with her at her home salon one evening and it was incredible. She is a beautiful soul and she had nothing to gain by mentoring me and sharing her knowledge with me. We went through all of her polishes and I made a list of all of the colours I would purchase from her and all of the supplies I needed to invest in before I took on her clientele.
Within the next week, 2 of her clients messaged me to book in. I hesitated so many times before I finally spent the $500 and purchased everything I needed… I still needed to pay her for her supplies (which was penciled in for the following Sunday after she had finished with her last client) – but it was an investment. And with an extra 25-30 clients on my books it would be completely justified.
Wednesday night came and I received a message. It was her. She told me the job she was supposed to have started that Monday had fallen through. She had emailed all of her clients to tell them she was reopening and was no longer able to sell me her products.
My initial reaction was disappointment for her because I knew how much she was looking forward to this new opportunity. I had hoped it would open the doors into a new sector of the industry she had wanted to be trained in. I couldn’t believe they had blindsided her, shame on them.
Then my heart sank for me. I had just spent a lot of money I was not in a position to spend right now and I felt like my dream was slipping through my fingers once again. I won’t lie, I was disappointed she messaged me and hadn’t called. I was now also stuck in a predicament where I had 2 clients I now needed to unbook. One of the ladies wasn’t schedule for another 2 weeks but the other had been booked for that weekend. I messaged her straight away. I had always said if for whatever reason she decided to return to working for herself I would happily let all of her clients know so that they could return to her. My husband didn’t seem overly happy with that response but again, this is my life – my morals – and my decisions. It wouldn’t feel right.
No matter how hard I tried, her client still wanted to come and have her nails done with me. We live within walking distance to each other so I completely understand, and having small children means my hours are limited to late nights, weekends or when Gigi is at kinder once a week. Those hours suit her perfectly.
For me, I never want to take something away from someone else that I don’t believe I’m entitled to. I struggled with this for a few days, and felt a lot of guilt. I know I need to remain true to myself and continue to be open and honest. The last thing I wanted to do was burn a bridge with someone I truly respect and admire.
I pulled an angel card that night and it told me to ‘SHARE YOUR VOICE’. Somehow writing has a way of putting things into perspective for me and it has. Everything has a purpose.
I saw her client on the Saturday and she was lovely, we got along so well – she was a cavalier lover like me and she adored my dog Charlie. She picked one of my new polishes that I hadn’t had time to practice with so I wasn’t 100% happy with how they turned out. I only charged her a minimal amount even though she insisted on more – I’m a perfectionist and if my work isn’t up to scratch I can’t justify making someone pay.
Sometimes I think she was sent to me as a test. If I really want something do I need to be prepared to lose it to show the universe just how serious I am?
The whole scenario ate away at me for days. I called my mentor to clear the air because something in my gut still didn’t feel right. She told me she had received a booking request from the lady I had seen the day before and that when they had spoken on the Friday she had told her she felt guilty about cancelling with me which is why she had kept her appointment. Somewhere in this little web of lies I couldn’t tell who wasn’t owning up to their part of the truth. What it did do was cement my decision to call her other client. I phoned the lady on the following Tuesday and explained everything over the phone and offered to carry the appointment over to my mentors appointment books for her. It was all settled over the phone. When I phoned my mentor she questioned me on who called who. I think she was genuinely shocked that I had initiated the conversation, but for the first time I had a seed of doubt about our friendship.
It made me realise, I don’t want her business. I want my own. I have always wanted a clientele based on word of mouth. Not marketing and strategies and coupons etc. I want people who align with who I am because I want the experience to be meaningful. Through this I have also noticed that I need to believe in myself more and I need to take actionable steps to get what I want.
What if I don’t let a lifetime of fear win me over? Maybe it’s my turn to leap.